Lauren Cooper: Are you English, sir? Mr. Logan: No, Im Scottish. Lauren Cooper: So you aint English, then? Mr. Logan: No, Im British. Lauren Cooper: So you aint English, then? Mr. Logan: No, Im not. But as you can see, I do speak English. Lauren Cooper: But I cant understand what youre saying, sir. Mr. Logan: Well, clearly you can. Lauren Cooper: Sorry, are you talking Scottish now? Mr. Logan: No, Im talking English. Lauren Cooper: Right, dont sound like it.
Lauren Cooper: I dont think that youre quite qualified to teach us English. Mr. Logan: I am perfectly qualified to teach you English. Lauren Cooper: I dont think you are, though. Mr. Logan: You dont have to be English to teach it. Lauren Cooper: Right... have we got double English... or double Scottish?
Lauren Cooper: Can I ask you a question? Mr. Logan: Not just now. Lauren Cooper: Can I ask you a question now? Mr. Logan: Just wait. Lauren Cooper: Can I ask you a question? I only want to ask you a question. Cant I ask you a question? Im just asking you a question. Can I ASK you a QUESTION? Mr. Logan: What is it? Lauren Cooper: Are you the Doctor? Mr. Logan: ...Doctor Who?
Mr. Logan: Im not the Doctor, Im your English teacher! Lauren Cooper: I dont think you are, though! Mr. Logan: Lauren... Lauren Cooper: I think youre a nine hundred an forty-five year old Time Lord! Mr. Logan: Listen... Lauren Cooper: Did ya just pitch up from Mars? Mr. Logan: Dont be ridiculous. Lauren Cooper: You know your house, right? Mr. Logan: What? Lauren Cooper: You know your house? Mr. Logan: Yeah? Lauren Cooper: Is it bigger on the inside? Mr. Logan: Be quiet! Lauren Cooper: Did you park the TARDIS on the meter?
Lauren Cooper: Do you fancy Billie Piper, sir? Mr. Logan: Right! [slams book on table] Mr. Logan: You are the most insolent child I have ever had the misfortune to teach! Lauren Cooper: Thank you. Mr. Logan: Youre pointless, repetitious, and extremely dull! Lauren Cooper: Bit like Shakespeare. Mr. Logan: You are not even worthy to mention his name! William Shakes - William Shakespeare was a genius! You, little madam, are definitely not! Now just sit there, keep your mouth shut, or I will fail you in this whole module right now! Lauren Cooper: [tsks] Amest I bovveréd?